One of the great struggles we face in life is defining who were are. Do we want to belong to certain group but not necessarily conform or do we want to just blend in and feel that sense of belonging or do we want to be a ‘lone ranger’?
I’ve become more attached to watching various video blogs and general videos on YouTube and on that platform alone there are countless characters who are trying to be themselves, be motivational, be critics, be examples, be friends, be pseudo-siblings, etc. Through these videos they establish themselves as themselves with their own characters, interests and so on, thus accumulating countless numbers of subscribers. These ‘video celebrities’ have led the way for various generations to listen to what they have to say and what they have to represent while promoting various aspects of their own beliefs. Whether they be DailyGrace or Jenna Marbles, EpicRapBattlesofHistory or posts of Japanese advertisements, each group or individual has a purpose for which they publish their videos, thus defining an aspect of themselves. Through the videos we watch, as well as the television programs, films, and other general interests we come to define ourselves.
While it could be seen that finding interests which define us sufficiently would be simple theoretically it is something we struggle with for a good portion of our lives. How you choose to define yourself reverberates to how others may see you which then affects how you choose to define yourself. A perpetual cycle. So being called to tell a new acquaintance a bit about yourself can be exceedingly challenging.
Most people would say that once you reach puberty the battle really kicks into action. It’s as though once your hormones turn on you suddenly realise “Wow! I’m an individual!” As though starting from the very beginning of life we become very critical of which music we listen to, what genre of film we watch, how we dress,how we speak, how we eat, what we eat…the list is endless.
Allow me to place this on a smaller scale now. Recently I was talking to older friends of mine from church and we were talking about how young African define themselves once they leave the continent. Put frankly far too many of them take the opportunity to be what they have always wanted to be but never could…white. This isn’t necessarily negative, adaptation is necessary to properly mould yourself into a new environment. However isn’t this where the problem arises? Why become more American when you’re 100% Nigerian or more British when you’re 100% Tswana? Secretly in the minds of many they believe that their culture is unrefined or unsophisticated, abandoning it for what they see as being a ‘superior culture’. Obviously you can’t help but absorb some of the quirks of a new community but what I’m referring to is completely shedding the colourful beads and clicks and nhlas of our respective languages in favour of what we see on Mtv and The Style Network (blond hair, tiny clothes, blue eyes, lighter skin tones, comparatively normal accents, etc). These are all awesome examples of the cultures they relate to but that doesn’t mean that they are an outline of what everyone’s culture should be. Beauty in differences, isn’t that what makes the rainbow such a beautiful thing, so many colours in a single entity. We must understand that who we are isn’t only controlled by our choices but by our roots because obviously that’s where it all began.
I’m often irked when I have to fill in some kind of form and must tick my race and I know that I’m not the only one. A South African friend of mine has faced issues when he chooses to tick both the African and White boxes on these forms and when he pleads his case it always ends with the official insisting that he can’t be African and White. Since when? He was born and raised on a South African farm and only began learning English when it was time for him to go to school. At times he’s more patriotic than I am but I’m still more African than him because I’m black? Another friend of mine was born in and spent a lot of his life in Switzerland, at the same time he is an Australian resident/citizen. Regardless of what his passport says he defines himself as an International Student just like me.
Bullying and judgement are things we must face from the moment we start making our own choices to even after we’re deceased, it’s simply unavoidable. Like so many others I was a victim of bullying for a large part of my life and my mother would always say “No one can make you sad unless you let them.” I’ve applied these words to so many aspects of my own life from fending off bullies to simply telling someone what song I’m listening to without being embarrassed.
It is a highly difficult task, being you. You are the only you that there ever was or ever will be. Through the history of the universe you are alone in your uniqueness and always will be. Eternal aloneness. Some species enjoy that eg tigers and snakes but humans are not among these. We want to belong and at the same time we want to stand out so even after we’ve apparently come to terms with being a unique individual we struggle with what we want to belong to. That’s alright though. I wouldn’t allow others to define who I am and where that seems impossible I embrace that definition.
I am a young black Zimbabwean woman. I am weird, crazy, loud, disorganised, lazy, motivated, loving, clever, small minded, mature, immature and odd. I listen to Oliver Mtukudzi, Winky D, John Mayer, Justin Timberlake, Muse, Brenda Fassie, Asa, Rob Galea, Liquideep, Chris Tomlin and Linkin Park. I have an unknown number of years to define myself and I won’t hurry to achieve that.
You define who you are; right wing or left wing, believer or non-believer, African or not but beware of the risks which come with being an individual for it will be a lonely road and you must be careful that you don’t get swept away by other, more attractive characters you would love to be.
What are you going to do today?
Smile/Sekerera/Bobotheka
IN THE RHYTHM 